Confessions of a sleep-deprived mom

My emotional pendulum swings two very different ways. There are moments when I am scrubbing bodily fluid (not my own) out of the carpet while my toddler unrolls an entire roll of toilet paper at the same time my baby is making his way to the nearest outlet to chew on some cords. I then realize we are out of coffee and I think to myself, this must be how I die. Then the very next moment, I witness that same toddler intentionally distracting the baby from the outlet with her favorite toy, "here big guy, eets fo' youuuu." Then I think, I WANT THIRTY-SEVEN MORE OF YOU.. and we pack up the circus and hit up the Starbucks drive-thru. This unstable emotional state has led me to do some embarrassing things that I think need to be confessed. The purpose of my blog is to encourage mamas and bring us together in motherhood. My hope is that someone can relate to these events... or at least get a good laugh at my expense.

in the past week I have...

  • used an entire package of baby wipes to clean my bathroom
  • eaten all the M&Ms used for potty training resulting in the invention of, "special O's" (cheerios) as a reward
  • told my toddler that the balloons live at Meijer so we can't take them home
  • lost track of what laundry was clean and what was dirty and I accidently rewashed the clean clothes and wore the dirty ones
  • ran out of size 3 diapers for the baby so I used my toddler's size 5 diapers... until those ran out too
  • fallen asleep on my daughters floor at 4 am while scratching her back, to wake up to my husband feeding her a snack, reading a book, and successfully getting her back to sleep (he's my hero)
  • had an egg with spinach for breakfast, quinoa, kale and tomato salad for lunch and then ate almost an entire FAMILY SIZE bag of sour cream and cheddar potato chips on the way home from the store
  • let my toddler watch the 'Daniel Tiger Uses the Potty' episode three times in a row and told myself it was a visual aide for learning and not just a way to get laundry done... you know, the laundry I had already washed
  • left my empty cart in the parking spot next to my car instead of putting it back... my proudest moments are NOT at the grocery store

Being a mom is the best job I've ever had, but I'm grateful my boss can't read yet because I would for sure get fired ;)